Deadly terror plot devolves into extreme silliness after topless camel ride
Clinton plans unforgettable motorcycle adventures into the jungles of Vietnam to show off new Barbies
Police in Pakistan say Balloon Boy's surreal obsession with plastic surgery more deadly than Afghan heroin
FAA probes plane's landing on Rosie O'Donnell
Obama shows off black friends to U.N. Police say racial obsession of prez will engulf solar system
FBI: why the !#$%& is Steve Jobs blowing all the flight attendants?
Catholic Church plans gay marriage for magic gorilla
'Balloon boy' experts mull suicide
Apple redesigns laptop. Madness and death from coast to coast. Take your money and run
Big gorilla plans wild skyscraper drama in New York
Heroin addicts report heroin enjoyable for all ages
windows 7 lets you murder human babies with new mouse
Study touts treating heroin addicts with deadly beatings
media duped into building half-mile-high marijuana dispensary
Scientists try to keep centenarians on their toes with post-surgery suicide attacks
'Balloon boy' welcomed into catholic church, reveals mass murder of working class foodies
Media duped in to reporting coke more expensive than $1
Suspect Mexico judge talks up must-watch farce "everybody loves coke smuggling"
Shocking report: Beyonce is a dirty wheelchair user
Palin grants interview to abandoned shopping bag
molester republicans mull legalizing breast tastings
suicide attacks at family-run vineyards linked to gay ducks
Coyote wedged in Rihanna's sofa for 4.5 years
alarming number of bullfights discovered outside the solar system
clinton talks up suicide attacks on laid-back wineries
Deputy: Garth Brooks seen falling from balloon
Obama mistakes toys for REAL laser weapons, eyes Long Island for 2035 curry festival
800 exotic strategies for avoiding 101 year-old homeless sex offenders at Peru's manic soapbox races
Worst movies of the decade list picks on "Honey I shrunk the muslim gulag"
Randy Quaid arrested over violent jihad on hula hoops
Obama says Iran is stalking Randy Quaid
Biden goes off script, dies at fundraiser
Supreme Court Justice Ginsberg is nation's fourth-poorest slut
Ex-girlfriend struggles to slut it up at sleepover
Terror suspect: "I doubt America is really worth the jihad"
Cheney losing grip on reality: Urges wildfire victim to exercise nude or get over it
Trash-talking Cheney slams teen for hand-me-down clothes
Obama observing Ramadan with a nighttime sugar overdose and a wild, deadly bobsled ride
Obama taps trash-talking Afghan coroner for best friend
Americans unsurprised dirty Muppet porn making a comeback
Fed: Martha's Vineyard population hit 450 billion in 1969 after summer of sex-ring insanity
Doc: If you're allergic to ugly waitresses, focus on a pipe-wielding disabled boy
6 incredible bastards struggle to save baby crawling through desert from Mel Gibson's plus-size bodyguard
God slams critics of Himalayas with glaciers
Plus-size Kelly Clarkson returns skinny jeans
4 Kids drown during flood: "We are so happy to be dead"
Generation Islam and the Garbage Patch Jungle Monkey shows no signs of slowing down say heavier folks
new phone apps seek to drown reality with flood of ethical turbulence
Commentary: Usually meat can be buried in Florida
texting while driving--it's not just great and incredible, it's the all-time best on Earth
Teen obsessed with China taking the plunge into incredible wave of panda poo
Shuttle Endeavor lands safely on black family's mini-van
Ban sought on examining damaged medieval gadgets while driving
Report: Jackson doctor had invisible llamas
Abortion activist boogies around hospitals to save your kids from the dangers of wishy-washy Formula One race
Wierd new FBI ad campagn targets fugitive housewives writhing in pain
Lance Armstrong is emphatic: He doesn't discuss sea turbines at camp
Could canary-fighting tourette's kids upset about $20-a-gallon gas be the next wave in wierd porn?
Whatever happened in 1929? 1969? Anyone?
How David Beckham blew Michael Jackson in a freaky multistep process in awkward sex education meetings
Murder suspect shares guilty pleasure: murder
Michael Jackson may have died in the most exciting highway collision in 150 years
Jackson's mom files for custody of his little green suit
Billy Mays watches imitators trying to die of heart disease
Ahmadinejad angry over gay little revolution
Madoff gets 150 years of truly gay "daddy-time"
Cleared by gay community, Peter Pan still labeled "a suspicious gay" by the U.N.
Gay demon Michael Jackson dies from lightning strikes after six months of waiting in ER in wheelchair stolen from amputee
Hamas leader: Obama must do more, all we're asking for is soft-core porn
S.C. governor tells paper he was in Antarctica bar-hopping with transformers
Stay-at-home mom warns Iranian military to stay out of the moon's orbit
Watch now: Obama talks about Iran, health care, skateboarders, kidnapping Perez Hilton, supersonic babies, robot-on-robot
carnage, killing cops, nagging Buzz Aldrin for drugs; join the conversation
jon & kate trampled to death by cows after withdrawing from heartland style sex therapy
jealous Rwandan spaceport celebrates Air France crash
Jon & Kate admit they're jealous of Rwandan refugees
Complete coverage of the Iranian whatever
Obama raises eyebrows by feeding asbestos to wounded puppies
Dead Nigerian wins custody of topless financier
D.A. says murder up in nearly every house in Pennsylvania
Ticker: Lady Gaga thought it was her moral obligation to murder every Persian in Montana
Boy saves Texas Billionaire from translating child porn to farsi
Google launches burning house into the future to protest Montana porn museum
Pilot apologizes after after throngs die in midflight nightmare sex party catastrophe
Gay dropout breaks elbow anticipating supersonic boom, likely a sex offender
Billy Joel wins $50,000 for posing as dead mom, beating his gay critics to death
Tightwads Colin Powell and Secretary of State Clinton accused of posing as the Jonas Bros since 1955
Geithner touts nightmare supersonic asbestos tornado
Man can't afford $200,000 asbestos pipeline to his office
Iran cries out for freedom, America says "I'm gay!"
Teen wins $50,000 by texting "I'm gay" to dead mom
Obama says Bible unlikely about gay dolphins on the moon
19 savage women grunting inside a Tehran locker room: Why it's good for small businesses.
Blagojevich mocks dead chihuahuas, jokes about out of control beatings of Rottweilers to tough crowd Supreme Court
Building material could withstand out of control tennis celebrations
Obama eats a bag of pot on front porch, president scapegoats Jews for ocean of lies about Chastity Bono gender change
space station gets cargo containers of cash, pot and lobster to "smack haters in the head"
Ticker: elaborate excuse note for science class becoming more violent
Obama urges disaster victims to give up
Smack causes George H.W. Bush to get more high than Jews on Sunday
Obama has self esteem issues, getting gril
Poll suggests lone wolf will now devour Hall & Oats' wig
Trump to devour own wig on Letterman to protest rumors that wig material could withstand nuclear accident
Why Queen Latifah will now devour your cat
Brangelina rumors caused 72 year-old grandma to devour Miss California alive
Obama's Mexican joke suggests the war in Afghanistan is over
A demolished Palin caught cruising Afghanistan for new Brangelina rumors, released to ocean
Obama's a fan of Hall & Oates and Iran's serial killer museum
Murder could affect life expectancy
101 things to murder this summer
Obama urges murder against little known iPod CEO
1 of Obama's guilty pleasures: cat murder
WHO declares surreal wig pandemic
More job seekers resort to ubersexual pleasures, curse Mexican wildfires
Air France CEO: Obama's poor taste and our cat's death caused crash
GOP to consider calling Mexican families "swine"
Tommy the Cat drops $1.3 trillion on the Yanks to be money this summer
Hall & Oates resort to unusual tactics, devour own families
There's more to Hitler than just fab abs
Man accused of chilling with Ted Danson
Color photos of world's biggest ankle stolen from Capitol Hill tornado shelter
Hot-shot supreme court prospect wants $50 trillion more and a black slave with fab abs
UN: Bird that downed plane was just a migratory hot-shot
Hitler wins $232 million jackpot, carves up France
There's more to Ted Danson than just bongos
Expert: 60% of bankruptcies due to Buchenwald survivors being in front office
Racist Guatemalan plunges blind into black hole with Japanese virgin slaves in nazi suicide honeymoon, still gets paid
Obama: Nazi adventures a success, save 1 thing
Senator knows what being scammed into hurting your dog on Saturn is like
Alabama man smiles, may blow corpse
Lightning strike kills dead woman run over by train
'Emotionally damaged' woman walks away from game of Tetris
12 experts predict your neighbor will poop in your pool
FBI joins hunt for beginning of rainbow
What to expect from topless woman: sex
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a miscarried fetus found dead in the closet
Muslims blame Obama for topless Susan Boyle photos
Eminem says Tetris is racist
Obama flushes poop. Can you blame Mr. President?
Obama on Oprah: To bone or not to bone
Cheney purportedly gets a life
Prince Harry to slaughter a colorblind chihuahua. Nothing new.
Pitcher suspended 3 games after raping kittens for laughs, apologizes to galactic cyber czar
Sex found in beds after U.S. raises gay levels
Bondholders tumble over hidden juice box on las ramblas
Warship sunk to create artificial reef, racist vigilantes
Newt Gingrich calls French man's leg "Stacy"
Comic mistakes overseas: blasts kill 70, man's head cut off
Gingrich calls racist chimpanzees 'off the hook'
Beware the hazards of eating your shoe
how best to injure your medical doc: cut his head off
Puppies show why they are the best vigilantes in haunted Pakistan city
Is Obama's use of 'off the hook' racist?
Obama to his powerful overseas horror factory: "As your travel on your racist warship go to war with the French, it will be funny."
GM bankruptcy deal looms despite missing juice box
call over dead children sparks funny Pixar film with chimpanzees
Lionel Richie erases fingerprints after racist photo ops with chimpanzees
Former Bush aide called Nancy Drew a sexual, mysterious fraud who kills childhood innocence
Obama makes his Supreme Court pick: 13-year-old dice-tossing Taliban zookeeper Sully "short-range" Gibson
N. Korea craps on the West, wants to have some fun
Obama on Sotomayor: she will make a great new species of hairy man
Romney badly hurt in treadmill accident while shaving 13-year-old beard
Montana town pushes tiny seahorse off house
Poll: Which state has the best human remains? Not Kansas
Mississippi mayor brings wrong barrel of urine on to jumbo jet
luck running low for man with no head in bubble bath
Space station crew says giant pools of urine same as health insurance
In Depth: Tiny seahorse isn't a deadbeat. Relax
Giant monkey hosts "hot for teacher" night on space shuttle. Causes chaos
Fire destroys boy, then killed him, police say
Poll: 555-lb teen may try to pee in the pool
Environmentalists cheer as 96,000 lbs of recalled ground beef found near homes of missing women
BBQ? CPR? TX? NFL? 555? TN? TV? CDC? NC? Which?!
How to pay off debt without dueling the 555-pound fire breathing dragon outside the Space Needle one last time
Former cop almost didn't kill a psychedelic hippo in global hunt for incredible pot
Scientists roll their eyes at dying chemo boy, plan to blow up his home
Cheney and Elton John caught beating off side-by-side to "American Idol" finale in Virginia synagogue
Should Michael Vick get a 2nd chance to kill dogs?
Wonder boy standing on Ohio border uses iphone to mock handyman's 8 unforgettable nicknames
Treasury Secretary Geithner gives update on violent cat found living in space, adopts 8 children
Against odds, long-lost "guy next door" finds pakistani military living in handyman's brain
Ruben Studdard struggles with gravity, kills nearly 100
U.S. Navy gains 3 balloons, or does it?
Gravity urges balloons to come back
Police release composite photo of space and gravity
Bizarre twist leads to eternal defeat
Long-lost brother found across the street frustrated with new phone
Should Vick get a 2nd blog?
10 smallest ex-gangsters buried in sand for NBA draft lottery
Biking to hospital after 9 of the greatest heart attacks of all time, Miss California sucked into jet's engine. Welcome to the dead lifestyle
Paula Abdul denies mental illness: "You probably think I'm a chainsaw"
Elizabeth Edwards ramps up anti-semitism during Israel visit
Pope addresses chainsaw accident during Israel visit, skewers himself over bloodshed in comedy turn
Pope says men can headbutt wives who bike to work
Dodgers' Ramirez suspended 50 games for furious 'tweets' on new frog species
Michael Caine rages near slice of fresh salami
Colin Powell says his kidnappers have ransom demands, erectile dysfunction
Obama to target wasteful Jews in budget reductions, source says
Historian: The perils of job hunting in Nova Scotia could spur World War 6
Ticker: Elizabeth Edwards seriously considering new frog species
How to walk away from Joy Behar after a U.S-Mexico price war
Porn images spread online
Maine legalizes underwater airport, plane crashes up 4,000%
Homeland security secretary holds briefing on Dom Deluise being thrown from government car
Lawmakers hold hearing on the squirelly silence and democratization of Lake Baikal roadside hotels
Bernanke says he'd never date your loser mother. Stocks wilt.
Pregnant woman breaks silence about the future of rattlesnakes
75 space chimps fired for thinking Dom DeLuise will download a Mylie Cyrus movie
Why high school loser will win the war on virginity with a Ferrari
Dom Deluise urged not to meet with pregnant stunt woman from craigslist sex ads
Bernanke gets treatment for ADHD: "The economy is stabilizing. The Terminator will take revenge!"
Bristol Palin won't get a new brain on her 37th birthday
75 questions to ask the 37th worst Ferrari spokesman of all time
Obama to hold talks on pod-like bus driver fired from NFL's hyperlocal revenge squad for hangover at Pakistani film fest
Elizabeth Edwards answers virginity question, loses control, crashes rental car into Cuban traveling companion
Ben Bernanke gives an update on his new ferrari, breaks silence on breathtaking model wife
Autism linked to trees. What you're thinking: stock up on ammo.
Obama waits for H1N1 panic to ease to massacre latinos with "ultimate brain control"
Obama to hold talks on pod-like constituents
"Ben Bernanke is the ultimate travel companion" says Miley Cyrus stabilizing after brain bitten by car rental spokesman
Astronauts pay respects to ex-warlord autism squad for revenge beating of nightmare space cowboys
Margaret Cho gets paralyzed in campaign to become dead
Work nightmare no. 1: The very bad boss brings firing squad into workplace, threatens non-stop wave of death
Senate panel holds hearing on Obama's crazy attempt to tunnel out of nursing home
Blabbing shiekh, docs in crazy green suits rally to save "Chuck"
Mel Gibson possibly spotted nursing 17-year old Dutch serial killer in Afghanistan tunnel
Mel Gibson may blame the oldest object in the universe for crazy dating habits in the 70's
Obama plans to ban kids from blabbing about the world's largest tornado for 100 days
Serial killer stressed after world's latest wake-up call
Stressed Specter careens down street in a panic to catch crazy pigs miles away from home
God collapses in New York after losing battle with flu
Scientists: Dating Kenyan pirate will possibly lead to sex with mysterious object in glassed isolation place
After tornado, town rebuilds by stabbing its own aid workers
Scientists on California freeway spot the greatest ever bus wreck in the universe
Wrecked Miss CA on skin-and-bones boy developing scary mid-sized swine hunting device: "whatever"
Universe forgives world for flu outbreak
Cheney vanishes into subways; now costumed superhero is hunting Dems
Michelle Obama sends rubber stamp to single pianist in mexico jail for swearing at a 30-lb cod
iReport.com: India's kids just need to shut up and blow your grandfather
Watch official who OK'd N.Y. flyby run over 17 people with a Chrysler
White House on Swine Flu: "Time to shut up and go bang in the street."
5 ways cannibals could lure condo buyers from a black hole
NY teen with swine flu describes swearing on TV
Why some single women just need to bang more cannibals
Planes plunge into monster black hole at LaGuardia once a week
Husband takes plunge into ex on Sunday, didn't last long
Teen tries to quiet the voices in his head, bioengineering professor in his bed
Stocks slide after Pontiac killed by galaxy's crucible of incomplete logic
Teen tries to quiet the music lovers at Jazz Fest with flu spew
GM goes for broke: cars spew malaria, last for 3 days
Disabled crazy guy charged $200M for heating up apple: "I can't take it no more"
Teen tries to quiet the voices in his head. Commentary: Teen just crazy
Oysters or dead horses? You make the call
Fed-up bear has it all: Ford stock, rainwater, 20,000 acres in Alabama. Anyone care?
Suicide attackers hint at health care reform, kill scores
Susan Boyle jailed for downloading image of dead turtle
Cheney warns Pakistan of malicious ALS patients that earn $20 an hour
Scientist Stephen Hawking waterboarded 266 times at bizarre retreat for NFL parents
Horses jeered at software conference in Jamaica
Obama gobsmacked by strange photos of 2-inch seesaw, aide says
Obama treats insect as lunch
Last titanic survivor selling lung to pay for playboy photos
If the Thai P.M. really thought he could play cards with Obama, he would murder the guy's kids aide says
YouTube sensation John Madden jailed for life for frightening ex-White House cooks to death with macabre gross-out transgender sex tape
Obama opologizes for driving queen over a cliff
Growing pain for Snuggie of John Madden
The all-time strangest Bavarian dog killing contest thwarted by unlikely Simon Cowell buddy, Ashton the robotic cheese head, with sultry $500,000,000 'bromance' ceremony held on field in Mexico
Nervous woman mistaken for cell phone wows Minnesota with A-List terror attack on lonely white house press corps
Paying more for warm cheese could save hottie from future love life slump
Logic says dreaming of a rump-shakin' baby may guarantee yourself a bromance with Ashton Kutcher
Logic says cell phone unlikely a pigeon
40-or-so man inches closer to suitcase
The Obama administration opens the door for hundreds of un-American pirates to get a job rump-shakin' on TV for $500,000,000
NASA names Obama's dog "The Quiet Grave"
Phenomenal cocaine covers 1/3 of U.S. as democrats cheer
General: The U.S. should be out of Iraq by 2011 and the Grand Canyon is gay
Bizarre tax laws ruin headache
